Awake and Alive
by IsebellaLynnette
Summary: Songfic with lyrics based on the song of the same name by Skillet and what feelings, thoughts, and general happenings Halt went through in book 9. Please read and review. Rated T for safety.


Hey everyone, I'm really sorry I've been gone for forever, but I've been having tons of time conflicts lately, including but not limited to: 1. moving away; 2. getting a puppy; 3. participating in 4 higher-level math competitions; 4. getting bombarded with History, English, and Science projects (not to mention 30 problems of homework per math class); 5. stressing out about playing tests in both Orchestra and Band; 6. struggling with general time management; 7. trying to find out who I really am and what I need to become.

But enough about that. I'm really glad to be back, everyone, and I hope you'll forgive me for the mistakes I made in time management over the past several months.

**Disclaimer: I hope you all know what the purpose of this is by now. I do not own RA or its characters, JF does; and I also do not own _Awake and Alive_ by Skillet.**

By the way, I forgot to mention, but I will be posting Mon-Fri this week thanks to Spring Break. The weekend, for my family at least, is reserved for unpacking, cleaning, and moving yet more things. No, we did not move out of the country or even the state, thank goodness.

And this will be my first songfic, so any constructive criticism welcome and accepted.

(Also, if you have not read books 8 or 9 yet, this contains major spoilers.)

* * *

_I'm at war with the world and they_

_Try to pull me into the dark_

Halt gasped as he lay face-down on the hard ground after his sudden fall off Abelard, panicking as he tried to reach through the heavy fog that clouded his mind and thoughts. Suddenly, he realized he couldn't breathe, pressure building on his lungs until he had to squeeze his eyes shut to keep from crying out in the pain.

_I struggle to find my faith_

_As I'm slippin' from your arms_

Strangely, he found his mind drifting as he lay there, still and unmoving. Only from a distance did he seem to feel Will's arms trying desperately to revive him. Disconnected from the world, Halt let his thoughts wander for the first time in more than thirty years and gave a huge, shuddering sigh.

_It's getting harder to stay awake_

Then, without realizing it, the pressure on his lungs disappeared and he slept peacefully, dreaming of a happier childhood with a healthy Caitlyn and an accepting Ferris.

* * *

_And my strength is fading fast_

The few instances that he awoke and was lucid, he realized that his mouth was a little drier, his mind a little more confused, each time; Will and Horace's expressions were a bit more worried and their reactions a little more panicked every time. He knew there wasn't much he could do about it. That's what he'd told Will already.

But whenever he wished for a way to fight against the poison, he would fade back into a jumble of people and events that could have happened from one day or thirty years ago.

Then, some time later, he seemed to watch himself struggling viciously against people trying to restrain him in a bright white room. They started shaking him and he reacted even more violently, but then he felt something being injected into his skin, some liquid being forced down his mouth, and both strangely helped him relax.

_You breathe into me at last_

Two of the three people that had been watching him turned away after that, but a third one stayed by his side, watching intently, expression tight with anxiety.

Instinctively, Halt knew that it was Will.

Only after some convincing did the other two convince him to turn away, and the three of them-was that Horace in there?-began walking away from Halt. He tried weakly to protest, to open his mouth, or even to just lift his head, but they all went away, leaving him behind in the strange mist that surrounded him...

* * *

_I'm awake_

_I'm alive_

Halt awoke from a deep, dreamless sleep out in the open wilderness. For a moment, he was confused as to where he was and what was happening. Then he saw two shadowy forms struggling against each other, easily recognizing the broad, athletic form of Horace.

He didn't know what he could do in his weakened state. But he knew that someone else would help.

Summoning his greatest reserves of strength and willing himself to put into his voice that precise tone of command that he'd used for so long by now, Halt yelled one word, one name.

"_Will!_"

And then lay back, exhausted by his effort.

* * *

_Now I know what I believe inside_

_Now it's my time_

_I'll do what I want_

_'Cause this is my life_

He distinctly heard Will's voice, unusually hard and cold, saying to an unseen person, "I don't need you alive anymore."

For a moment, Halt's heart jumped into his throat as his mind registered the words. Then he pushed the unpleasant thought away. Will would never do that to him, because Will was Will, and he had never let Halt down. Especially now, by fetching an experienced healer-for that was the only person who could have cured him from the deadly Genovesan poison-for him, and then constantly watching over him to make sure he was all right.

As his heart rate relaxed again, he felt a huge sense of pride in his former apprentice and how far he'd come since that day more than twenty years ago, when he'd dropped the orphan baby off on the Ward doorstep.

With an immense effort and a louder-than-normal grunt, he rolled over onto his side and grinned weakly as he saw Will rushing towards him.

"My god, Halt," he heard his apprentice whisper as he wrapped his mentor in a firm but gentle hug. "You're all right now."

* * *

_Here (right here)_

_Right now (right now)_

_I'll stand my ground and never back down_

_I know what I believe inside_

_I'm awake and I'm alive_

For some time after being revived from the deadly poison, Halt felt a sense of rejuvenation, almost as if he'd been reborn or created again. He hadn't had this much energy since six years ago, when he and Horace had left on the long journey to save Will and Evanlyn from a life of slavery in Skandia. Though the healer Malcolm was his match in stubbornness, Halt knew that the wiry, bird-like man-and his two closest friends as well-truly cared for him and had gone through a lot of emotional strain while taking care of him.

He didn't have to say his thanks to Will and Horace. They understood it in every aspect, from his body language to speech and choice of words.

He'd also taken care to stay a little farther away from sarcasm than usual during this time.

But when they saw the hunting party coming back to Tennyson's headquarters, he knew that everyone had recovered far enough so that he and Will could spare a sarcastic look towards Horace, who as a general rule of thumb tended to state the obvious in almost all circumstances.

_Waking up waking up_

_Waking up waking up_

He felt the familiar thrill of the chase and a chance of exciting adventure overtaking him once again as Will led them into the cave. He had never truly felt so alive...until now.

_When my faith is getting weak_

_And I feel like giving in_

_You breathe into me again_

He supposed that, after the dangerous, headlong rush through the collapsing cave system, he'd become a bit more reluctant to go on the more complicated missions after that. Sometimes he felt that he should retire, especially after the emotional and physical drains on him thanks to the Genovesan poison.

But always, when he looked at his former apprentice Will, growing stronger, more confident, and more experienced every day, always, he felt a renewed conviction to fulfill his complete duty as an Araluen Ranger, bearer of the Silver Oakleaf.

_Now I know what I believe inside_

_I'm awake and I'm alive_

Pauline had been right, Halt thought fondly as he embraced his apprentice for the hundredth time.

Will would never let them down.

* * *

So, how did you like it? All feedback welcome. If you'd like to flame, go ahead. I need at least one to warm my hands and feet around.

XD Totally joking. But anyway, I really want to know what you guys think. I'd also like to have any and all advice from songfic nerds out there, if you read this.

Thanks again for all of your patience and understanding.


End file.
